1. Taylor Swift’s Monologue Song (La la la)

“You might be expecting me to say
something bad about Kanye
and how he ran up on the stage
and ruined my VMA monologue
But there’s nothing more to say
cuz everything’s okay
I’ve got security lining the stage
It’s my SNL monologue.”

2. SNL Digital Short: Firelight

Stella [Taylor Swift]: Why won’t you kiss me?
Phillip [Bill Hader]: Because when I kiss people… I tend to accidentally choke them to death.
Stella: I want you to try.

Phillip: [With his hands around Stella's neck] You are my life now.
Stella: You’re choking me.
Phillip: Sorry… It was an accident.

3. T.R.A.A.A.P.D – Teens Raising Awareness About Awful Parent Drivers

Kristen Wiig: [Singing along to Lady Gaga's: Love Game] Let’s build a love gate. See a love frame. Do you hear doves? Is it a pain? Am I in the way…

4. Weekend Update

Seth Meyers: A woman from England revealed this week on the Tyra Banks Show that she has two vaginas, two uteruses and two menstrual cycles. So stay away from her when she has PPMMSS

5. Scared Straight

Bill Hader, Andy Samberg & Bobby Moynihan cracked!