And Iran, Iran so far away
come home, and in my arms you’ll stay

Used to look at the stars and dream
round the world same stars were seen
And a twinkle in your eyes Mahmoud
Talk smooth to me, without a tie
your pants high waisted, damn so fly
We can take a trip to the animal zoo
and laugh at all the funny things that animals do
Like Eugene you got me straight trippin’ boo
hope you look in my eyes and say I’m trippin’ too
you say Iran don’t have the bomb but they already do
you should know by know, it’s you

And Iran, Iran so far away
is your home, but in my heart you’ll stay

- The Lonely Island, Iran So Far

At the farmer’s market with my so called girlfriend
She hands me her cell phone, says it’s my dad
Man, this ain’t my dad!
This is a cell phone!

I threw it on the ground!
What, you think I’m stupid?
I’m not a part of your system
My dad’s not a phone!
DUH!

- The Lonely Island, On The Ground

The Swine Samberg Flu Symptoms:

1. Slightly elevated temperature when hearing the names, Andy, Jorma, or Kiv. An increase in heart rate is also observed.

2. An illogical yearning for SNL, even on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday mornings/afternoons.

3. A overwhelming desire to be on a boat and throw objects and people to the ground. (If you are actually on a boat or have succumbed to throwing stuff on the ground–SEEK HELP NOW!) My niece’s 8th birthday party last week was especially difficult for me. She’s such a poser. The kitchen linoleum was calling out for that piece of chocolate cake, but I resisted.

4. Having recurrent sexual dreams where you: have a half-eaten squirrel hanging out of your mouth, are the president of Iran, The Boss, or an alien pedophile.

5. You have replaced the potato chips in your cupboard with cupcakes and/or Chex Mix.

6. You like sports and you don’t care who knows.

7. You can’t stop blogging about them.

Till dig som skrivit detta: I fucking love you!
Till er som inte har nån aning om vad detta betyder: Good for you! Det betyder att du har ett liv. Ett riktigt liv.